Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2013

Global 2013: Women’s most romantic dates

Janelle
Janelle (Photo credit: williamhartz)

If you could package up all the elements of a romantic date and sell it, you’d make millions. Everyone wants an absolutely perfect, over-the-top experience that makes your pulse race, your heart swell, and your senses come alive — but it’s not that easy to pull off. The most romantic dates are often the result of alchemy; they combine good timing, planning, execution, luck and a little bit of magic to produce a memory that lasts a lifetime.

Recently, I asked women to tell me about their most romantic date memories. From viewing a spectacular sunset high above the city to boldly reclaiming romance after a lengthy illness, listen as these ladies let us in on the secrets that made these moments so unforgettable:

“My meeting with the boy next door in Paris netted us both a new relationship”
“I’d been looking forward to my overseas trip so much,” says Maryland resident Patricia, 32. “My friend Janelle and I had planned to visit Paris for three days and then take the train to stay with my sister in London. At the last minute, Janelle got sick and couldn’t travel. I was torn about visiting Paris alone. I didn’t speak French; Janelle’s fluent and was going to be our translator… but I’d already paid for both the plane ticket and the hotel, and my sister was expecting me in London. A little voice inside me said: Do it. It’s an adventure. You never do anything alone anymore. So off I went, and the first night, I was terrified. I felt very alone and troubled by the language barrier. As I lamely attempted to order lunch at a bistro in the Marais district on the second day, a man about my age who was eating lunch by himself while intently reading something on his iPad interrupted me. In perfect French, he told the waitress what I was trying to order. I thanked him and we started chatting. Turns out, he’s a teacher from Baltimore who lives 30 minutes away from me and happened to be visiting friends in France and Germany for a few weeks. He asked me if I’d like to have dinner that night, and I said ‘yes.’ He was really cute, we flirted up a storm, and all of a sudden during dinner, I just fell in love with Paris,” admits Patricia.

“After 15 years, I was reunited with my college sweetheart”
“His email came from out of the blue,” recalls North Carolina native Sarah, 39. “But there it was, a note from Jimmy (my college boyfriend) writing to see how I was doing, ask if I was planning to attend our 15-year college reunion, and also fill me in on the news that he was recently divorced. I’d been in love with Jimmy, but after college, we broke up and went our separate ways — me to New York City to work in the publishing industry; him to Raleigh, NC, where he opened a landscaping business near where I lived shortly after leaving New York. We had mutual friends and kept in touch [with each other] indirectly. He married and had two children; I didn’t, but I’d had a couple of long relationships, both of which were now over. But the idea of meeting Jimmy again at the reunion sounded too cliché to me; these things never work, and it’s always a disappointment because you can’t recapture the past.”

“Watching the sun set over Seattle made me feel like I was in a Hollywood movie”
“My most romantic date ever started with a picnic and ended high above the city, watching the sun set over Seattle,” says Mary, 28, who left her hometown in Oregon because she wanted to discover love and excitement in a big city. “I’d met Patrick online and we’d had two dates already. We decided that for date #3, I’d choose the first activity, he’d choose the second, and we’d surprise each other. I decided on having a picnic at Pike Place Market and brought a blanket, cups, utensils, and a basket so we could load up on goodies from the market and take them to a grassy area not too far away. It was so much fun picking out fruits, cheeses and breads with him, exploring, trying things, talking for hours on the blanket… then came his turn.”

“We found ways to reconnect on the road to nowhere”
“I’d gotten to the point where romantic gestures seemed rote to me,” says Washington native Suzy. “It’s Valentine’s Day, get the flowers; plan a dinner for the anniversary… nothing bad, but it was all just so expected. My husband Bill and I had been married for 15 years, and I think you get either lazy about connecting — or, in our case, acting a little too by-the-book. Bill and I had been working really hard for several months, and I think he knew I’d grown tired of being over-scheduled. Before my last birthday, he told me very cryptically to be prepared for a day trip. We dropped the two kids off at my sister’s house, and then the fun began.”

“Her joy in making me happy made this my favorite date ever”
“My girlfriend Melissa knew I’d been dying to see K.D. Lang, my favorite singer, in concert,” relates Tina, 38. “So she got two tickets to her Wolf Trap outdoor theater performance in the Virginia countryside. She took me to dinner beforehand, and she was more excited than I was, I think. Seeing my girlfriend so excited to do something nice for me was deeply romantic. It was a hot summer night, and we held hands during the show. Getting to experience a night with my favorite performer and my favorite girlfriend ever just made it over-the-top special for me.”

“Celebrating getting back to normal was the highlight of our marriage”
“I’d had an awful year, just the worst,” says Marylander Carrie, 43. “I’d had breast cancer, and the treatments — which took a toll on me physically and emotionally — ended in late January. I was not an easy patient. I wasn’t one of those tough chicks who grin and bear it. I was really upset, and my husband of 10 years bore the brunt of my anxiety (with 100% grace I might add). About a month after my treatments ended, I surprised him by getting all dolled up, making his favorite dinner, and opening a bottle of champagne like it was a combination birthday/Valentine’s Day celebration. It was neither, but it was my comeback! I felt strong and healthy, and I wanted to thank him for all he’d done to make that possible, all the dinners he’d made, and all the times he’d sat with me when I was feeling lousy. It was our most romantic date ever because we’d triumphed over something terrible and were able to smile, laugh, love and celebrate again… together.”

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=13097&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1381570

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Monday, December 10, 2012

Global 2012: 6 things women love about men

Love ? I love love love you.
Love ? I love love love you. (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

Guys, have you ever worried you don’t have that elusive something that women crave? Perhaps you think you lack a devil-may-care attitude that the ladies love, or that you don’t have a Jon Stewart-esque wit that would win someone’s heart. Relax! We spoke to relationship experts and women across the country and learned that those attributes men believe are impressive just don’t cut it. In fact, the qualities that attract women may surprise you... and, chances are, you possess at least one of them. Learn how to embrace these six traits for dating success.

1. She loves that you’re a man of few words
It’s no secret that women love to communicate with the men in their lives. “Women like to connect, and when that happens, they will melt,” says Emerson E. Eggerichs, Ph.D., author of Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs. Of course, when most men hear that, they cringe, thinking it means long, drawn-out talks about every feeling either of you has ever had since you met. Wrong! According to Dr. Eggerichs, women don’t need lots of verbiage from men. The truth is, your lady can get the same communication from you via eye contact — without a single word being uttered. Simply stand face-to-face with her, look into her eyes, and show your affection with a simple physical gesture — say, holding her arm or caressing her face. “It’s in their very nature for women to want you to look at them,” Dr. Eggerichs explains. “Infant girls make eye contact with adults who are around them, while boys make eye contact but look away if there’s a mobile, ceiling fan or anything else to distract them overhead.” Cultivate your connection with a little unabashed eye contact, and you’ll be on the fast track to winning her heart.

2. She loves your hairy body — really!
Wait, she likes your what?! That’s right, go ahead and cancel that back-waxing appointment. A study at the Zoological Society of San Diego (of people, not animals) revealed that women are more attracted to men with furry bodies, regardless of the silhouette. Scientists theorize that body hair advertises good health and active hormones, making it a positive sign in the selection of a mate. For further proof, just listen to Laura McNeely of Spring, TX: “I always love noticing that a guy, especially a clean-cut one, has a little bit of chest hair sticking up out of his Oxford shirt. It’s like saying, ‘I may have an uptight job, but there’s a caveman lurking inside.’”

3. She loves your unnatural emotional attachment to your favorite sports team
Most men learn by their teens to downplay their obsession with professional sports in front of the ladies. But dating coach David Wygant says that revealing certain elements of your big-league insanity to a woman will make her feel more connected to you. “Men try to hide when our eyes get all wet during the last 30 seconds of a game or when we see our fellow men get all emotional on the sidelines, but after a long season, we need that emotional release,” Wygant says. And the truth is, women would rather see you get sappy over sports than never see you act mushy at all — it lets them know there’s a sensitive guy underneath. And if you are prone to hugging your friends after your team wins? You just added some bonus points!

4. She loves when you act tough
While women often want an evolved, emotionally available man these days, putting a little “wild man” demeanor into your repertoire can equal popularity on the dating scene. “Most women want bad-boy qualities so they don’t have to act perfect all the time,” says Nancy Slotnick, author of Turn Your Cablight On: Get Your Dream Man in 6 Months or Less. After all, if a woman is afraid to be anything less than perfect in front of you, your relationship will be stifled and you’ll both end up bored. Anne Giddens of Wilmington, NC, adds: “A lot of guys are total gentlemen on dates, so being with someone who mouths off a bit shows that he’ll protect me if something happens. And that, in turn, makes me feel girlie and taken care of. It’s a total turn-on.” Hint at your bad-boy side by being slightly protective of your girl when someone else talks to her, suggesting thrill-type dates — which can increase adrenaline production and promote physical attraction — or simply planning a date without consulting her (spontaneity in general is a good thing). Of course, don’t do anything that’s actually disrespectful or dangerous — that’s not the kind of bad-boy behavior anyone wants.

5. She loves your artistic side
You don’t need a massive paycheck to appeal to the ladies. They actually find the “I’m working on a screenplay” lifestyle alluring. One study found that artists and poets had experienced a total of 4-10 romantic partners, while people with less creative jobs had three. According to the study’s author, Daniel Nettle, Ph.D., a psychology lecturer at Newcastle University in the UK, creative people tend to be charismatic and their artistic pursuits are particularly interesting to others. The study also found that the number of romantic partners an artsy type had increased when he spent more time on creative, right-brained pursuits. And you don’t have to be a starving artist to appeal to women. Even if you’re an investment analyst, you might play the saxophone on the side. So flaunt that hobby — women dig guys with creativity.

6. She loves your geeky electronics obsession
Your wall of speaker cords. Your closet full of video games. Your wireless universe. Believe it or not, the very things that women roll their eyes about can also be the things that draw them in, too. “When a guy shows a woman some new gadget, it shows his intelligence,” says Andrea Miller, founder and CEO of YourTango.com, an online magazine about love, dating and sex. “It’s also always attractive when someone has a passion.” May Beach from Pine Hill, NJ, agrees: “Sometimes when I see my boyfriend working furiously at his laptop, it’s the most endearing thing,” she admits. “It’s like the difference between knowing a guy speaks a foreign language — ho-hum — and hearing him converse fluently in it — hot!” So don’t be afraid to share your excitement about a bit of computer hardware — just don’t expect her to stand in line overnight with you, waiting with bated breath for it to hit the shelves.

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=6181&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=749836

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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Global 2012: “Here’s why I always get the guy...”

The Good Guys
The Good Guys (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ever wonder what that woman — the one who’s always surrounded by men and who lands dates left and right — has that you don’t? We did, too, so we polled man-magnets around the country for their tried-and-true tips for attracting men. Below, read their secrets on getting — and keeping — the guy:

Bring the “A” team
“If I go out with the intention of meeting guys, I never go out with more than two girlfriends. In my opinion, there’s nothing more annoying to guys (at least, the ones looking for something other than a fling) than a gaggle of giggling girls. I make sure that the friends I go out with are great wing-women — attractive friends who I can count on to be up for a good, drama-free evening — whether we meet guys or not. Whenever I go out with this type of group, the guys are drawn to us like flies to honey. There’s something really alluring to guys about a small group of cool, confident, classy women.”

Learn how to relax
“Here’s my one rule: Don’t be totally focused on ‘getting the guy.’ I think that scares them off! Be happy with your own life, be busy with it, and think of a guy as the icing on the cake — not vital, but a nice bonus. Guys pick up on this laid-back attitude and don’t feel as if you want or need anything from them… and then they’re interested!”

Laughter is the best medicine
“It’s always been my theory that guys love when you laugh at their jokes — or just simply act as if they’re the funniest people on Earth. It boosts their confidence, and what guy doesn’t want to be around a woman who makes him feel good? There’s no need to be completely fake about it — just laugh as genuinely as you can when the guy you’re into is clearly looking for laughs, and encourage him to keep going if it seems like he’s on a roll. You’ll be amazed how quickly it will endear guys to you!”

Keep up appearances
“I grew up in the South, where women always take the time to look their best. Even though I live up North now, I haven’t changed my habits. I rarely leave the house — even to go to the gym — without wearing a cute outfit, perfume, makeup and with my hair looking good, and I always keep a loaded cosmetics bag in my purse. I really think guys — especially the ones where I live — appreciate it when a woman looks put together and smells nice. Even when I’m seriously dating someone, I never let my commitment to looking good slide, even as we get comfortable in our relationship.”

Let him do all the chasing
“For me, my version of playing ‘hard to get’ always works. Here’s how I do it: I always make sure that even if I am head-over-heels into a guy, I never let him know — even the slightest bit — that I am. If he calls me, I’ll wait at least three days before calling him back, and when I’m around him, I always act very nonchalant and make sure I talk to others as much as I talk to him. Lastly, I never spill my feelings until at least two weeks after he spills his. I think this leaves a guy always wanting more, and makes him feel like ‘getting’ me is a challenge. Guys like competition and to win, so it’s almost like a game!”

Cast a wide net
“You have to get out there and always go to new places — be they classes, clubs, charity groups. You need new dating pools to meet new guys. If you were looking for a job, you wouldn’t apply over and over again at just one company, right? Same goes with meeting men. Mix up your routine and don’t let it stagnate. There are lots of guys out there, and the more you meet, the more likely you are to find good relationship material.”

Be a good sport
“I have three older brothers — all of whom were huge jocks — so I know about sports just about as much as any guy, and I actually genuinely love watching games. I think guys love when a girl can talk about their favorite team or knowledgeably tease them about why her favorite team is superior. The key to using sports knowledge to impress guys is to not be ‘one of the guys’ when you do it — no guy wants to date someone that could just as easily be one of his male friends. Instead, be a feminine, sexy woman who loves sports and shows up in a hot outfit — not wearing a jersey with your face painted! If you’re clueless when it comes to sports, get one of your guy friends to teach you — pronto!”

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12755&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=860524

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Friday, August 3, 2012

Global 2012: Signs that he’s genuinely into you

Cover of "He's Just Not That Into You [Bl...Cover of He's Just Not That Into You [Blu-ray]
For the past few years, thanks to loads of books about pick-up artists, reality dating shows and the like, women everywhere have been duly warned of all the ways men might try to wiggle free from getting into relationships without ever really saying so. Many single ladies owe their sanity to books like He’s Just Not That Into You, which taught them to stop wondering why someone didn’t call and just accept the truth: that it simply wasn’t meant to be. Still, amidst all these downplayed expectations, we wondered: Don’t women also want to know when men actually are in hot pursuit? To that end, we’ve interrogated a small army of men (and some savvy women) to uncover some telltale signs that show he actually is that into you — whether you’ve just met each other for the first time or have been dating casually for awhile. Read on for the good news...

Sign #1: He can’t relax when you’re around
Keith Duncan, 31, wasn’t exactly excited to tell us this, but admits that “there always seems to be a bit more pressure on me when I’m talking to a woman I really like. The room gets warm, I don’t feel as humorous as I usually am, and I keep hearing in my head: ‘Don’t screw this up.’” And that can only mean one thing: He’s trying his darndest to impress you.

Sign #2: He connects the dots
If a man remembers or refererences some things that you said earlier in your conversation or at the time when you two first met, it shows that he’s been paying attention. And since this is not generally one of our stronger traits, it really does mean something in this context.

Sign #3: His focus is on you and nobody else in the room
If a man is looking to just pick you up for a fling, he’ll never fully commit his attention to you; he’ll always be looking for his Plan B, constantly scanning the scene for a potential upgrade. So if his eyes are wandering around the restaurant or at the party, beware! But if he stays put and is devoted to you instead, relax... it’s all good. Johnny McDonnell, 30, admits that “there are times when I know my buddies will give me a hard time because I’ve spent the entire night talking to the same woman, but if I like her, I really don’t care what they think.”

Sign #4: He sneaks the word “we” in somewhere during your conversation
If the guy in question throws out the word “we” a lot instead of speaking exclusively in terms of “I” and “you” while you’re chatting, this a great sign of genuine interest. He’s trying in his own subtle way to see if he can put the two of you together without anyone noticing. Dating coach David Wygant agrees that “pronouns are the most important thing,” adding that “if he says something like, ‘You know, we should go ice skating sometime,’ he’s fishing to see if you’ll bite.” In other words, he hopes you’ll like the sound of it and agree to accompany him without actually asking you out to spare himself the shame of being turned down.

Sign #5: He leads you on — in a good way
If a man casually asks, “Have you heard about such-and-such restaurant?” or declares, “I’ve gotta go see that movie,” in courtroom terms, this is called “leading the witness” — and he’s throwing it out there hoping you’ll tack on a “yeah, me too!” reply at the end. So pay attention, ladies: This is our brilliant way of getting around directly asking you out and exposing ourselves to the crushing blow of rejection. After all, it hurts — and we’d rather put out feelers first whenever possible. So if you get the feeling he’s fishing to gauge your interest about something, that’s a good sign he’d like to see you again.

Sign #6: He’s happy to be somewhere that’s normally not where he would go on his own
Even better, the reason he’s happy to be there is because he’s with you. Seth Reimer, 30, tells us, “I can remember going to a club that I would never want to set foot in solely because I knew that a particular woman — who is now my wife — would also be there. The place was awful, but she made me want to go there every night until I could get her to go out with me on a date. The rest is history.”

Sign #7: He makes an effort to curry favor with your friends
According to Jared Piccolo, 28, when it comes to winning over a woman, “the friends are the gatekeepers,” he asserts. “If you don’t get past them, well, you’re out.” If the man you’re interested in is doing more than the bare minimum of making polite small talk and really trying to bond with your friends, then he’s trying to fit into your life on a larger scale — and that’s definitely a good sign.

Sign #8: He eagerly brings you into his own inner circle
We men can easily keep our dating lives separate from our regular day-to-day routines. In fact, we often prefer to keep these two worlds apart for practical reasons. However, the women we really like tend to quickly meet our buddies, see our favorite hangouts and meet our coworkers. Tim, 45, admits that when he was single, he kept any dates he wasn’t interested in seeing long-term far away from his regular circle of friends. “It made things clear, distinct and free of complications when it ended,” explains Tim. If a man’s introducing you to his pals and favorite neighborhood spots, on the other hand, congratulations — you’re getting woven into the fabric of his life.


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Sunday, July 15, 2012

Global 2012: Secrets of Dating Women

Cover of "Secrets To Dating"Cover of Secrets To Dating
Have you ever noticed how most men make dating women much more complicated that it has to be? Are there some secrets to dating women that can help men achieve more success with women and dating, without being a manipulative jerk?

Simple answer: YES.

There are a few simple secrets about dating women that most men will never know. I'm going to reveal these secrets so that you'll be naturally become alluring to women. You'll also never need to worry about all the B.S. that most men go through with women and dating.

Here they are:

Dating Women Secret #1 - Treat her like a "maybe."

When most guys initiate a conversation with a woman, they have one thing in mind: get her phone number, or move things forward in some other way. However, there's a problem with this kind of thinking: the qualification step is missing.

Women are used to qualifying men. But when a man qualifies a woman, it reverses the male-female social dynamic, putting you in the driver's seat and giving you the power of choice.

Screen out the women that aren't right for you right from the start. Ironically, a woman is more likely to open up and show her warmer personality to you when you show her that she needs to prove herself to you first, not the other way around.

Don't skip this qualification step. It'll save you a lot of heartaches in the future. And will also make you a more challenging and attractive man in her eyes.

Dating Women Secret #2 - Date many women

Most of you probably love the idea of dating multiple women at the same time. And many of you probably also think that this is something that most women wouldn't tolerate.

Let's set the record straight. There is nothing wrong with dating multiple women as long as it's done in an honorable way, meaning that you're honest to the woman about what you want in the relationship. Of course, you don't have to directly tell her you're dating other women, but you don't want to lie about it either. So if she asks you if you have a girlfriend, simply say "I'm casually seeing other women, but I haven't found the right one yet." This also takes off the pressure from her.

Most women have no problem casually dating multiple men, so you shouldn't either. Think of this way: How are you going to find Ms. Right if you're not getting out there and dating a lot of women?

The only way to really know what you want in a long term relationship is to date as many women. This also creates a healthier attitude since you're coming from a mindset of abundance, rather than desperation.

Forget that nonsense that she is the "one." There are many beautiful, available women who are also looking to casually date many men as well. Don't jump into an exclusive relationship the second it becomes available. Instead, learn to be comfortable playing the field.

Dating Women Secret #3 - When it's time, move on.

One of the biggest mistakes guys make with dating women is staying in a relationship that they're really not happy in. If at any moment you're thinking that the woman is not right for you, then it's probably a sign that it's time to move on.

When you do decide it's time to let go of a woman, don't go back. A lot of guys will feel a little lonely after a breakup, and will want to get back into the same relationship to give it another shot. This is a mistake.

Do yourself a favor. If you decide to break up with a girlfriend and move on, then stick to it. Date other women. If after dating other women you still feel that she was the right one for you, then you can decide if she's worth pursing again or not.

Don't stay in a relationship for the sake of being afraid to be alone. It's just as good to be single.

Dating Women Secret #4 - Date different "types"

It's tempting to only date your preferred type of women. Maybe you're into blondes. Maybe you're into Asians. Or maybe you're into crazy punk chicks. Whatever your type is, keep in mind that the woman that is most compatible with you might not always be the type you'd expect it to be.

Learn to broaden your horizons. Date different types of women, meaning date different physical types, as well as different personality types.

It's amazing how some guys make it nearly impossible to find a great woman since they're filtering out nearly every woman since they don't fall into their preferred category.

Not only should you be dating multiple women, but you should also be dating different types of women.

There you go. Keep these 4 dating secrets in mind, and you'll live a much more fulfilling and satisfying lifestyle. Don't just wait for the right woman to come along. Sometimes in life, when you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it.


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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Global 2012: Things women wish men knew...

English: Love QuestionEnglish: Love Question (Photo credit: Wikipedia)Collier's Magazine -- May 29, 1948 .....item 1...Collier's Magazine -- May 29, 1948 .....item 1..Men, Women and Forgiveness (November 8, 2011 / 11 Cheshvan 5772) ... (Photo credit: marsmet542)Men often ask the question, “What do women want?” A wise person once answered, “If you want to know what women want, ask them… one at a time.”

Since that’s an impossible task for any man, I asked several single ladies to share what men really don’t know about them and what they look for in a date. Guys, you might find their answers surprisingly myth-busting in some instances, while others might validate what you already believe. Either way, hopefully these insights will give you the inside track on understanding women better and improving your dating skills:

1. You risk it all if you wait forever to reach out to a woman who interests you.
2. Not all women who date are looking for a serious relationship.
3. You’d be surprised about what women find to be genuinely sexy in a man.
4. Being a cheapskate is a deal-breaker for women.
5. Women struggle to make a connection while remaining independent, too.
6. They call it “women’s intuition” because they are adept at reading nonverbal cues if something feels “off” with a date.
7. No woman wants to be your mother (or a carbon copy of her own).
8. It’s the little things that matter when it comes to impressing a woman.
9. Women are slower to end relationships than men, even short-term ones.

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11865&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=1338500
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Monday, November 14, 2011

Global 2011: 9 Tips to Make a Date Better in the First Ten Minutes

Now You See Love, Now You Don'tImage via Wikipedia
The first ten minutes of a date often determine whether a second date is ever going to happen, and let’s face it—second dates are not the norm for many. That was definitely my story until I learned about (what I now call) “Date Waste.”

Date waste is when a date is a drag, but has little to do with whether you are a potential match. It’s a drag simply because neither of you set the date up to succeed. These aren’t the dates with jerks that you can’t wait to end. They are the ones that are just a little boring, lack sparks, or just go nowhere. You can turn these into very positive experiences.

I see date waste all the time when I’m coaching, and I lived it for years. When I accepted that every date was part of the journey and not just a means to an end, my life changed. Every date is an opportunity. You can talk to a nice person, learn something new, get much-needed practice and maybe connect with someone you want to know just a little better. It doesn’t have to be, “Oh, he’s The One!” or nothing.

Here are nine things you can do in the first ten minutes of each date to make it a positive experience and begin to eliminate date waste from your life.

1. Go in with the “I hope I like him” attitude.
2. Find three things you like about him.
3. Compliment him.
4. Think of it as practice.
5. Dump your agenda.
6. Ask the right questions.
7. Quiet those dang gremlins.
8. Let go of control.
9. Be kind and practice empathy.

Then look at him again with the kind and wise eyes of a woman working hard to find a good man. Regardless of how you end up judging him, always leave him feeling good about himself—even if you’re not going to see him again. It’s the nice thing to do, and you’ll help prop him up for the next woman who’s going to meet him.

You are looking for a lifetime partner with whom you can share deep connection, unconditional trust, mutual adoration, and a lifetime of happiness. Everything you do should be toward that end. Every date is a spectacular opportunity. Don’t be a date waster.


http://www.divinecaroline.com/22069/116999-nine-tips-make-date-better

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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Manila 2011: 5 Signs He's Not Really Into You

The plain red flag is often used at socialist ...Image via Wikipedia

There's a guy you totally fancy and whom you've been seeing for sometime. Yet there's something about him you can't put your finger on: He's kinda too busy with work, a tad too passive about your relationship, and not acting as besotted as he should be.

Or maybe he really isn't. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but better to know if he's wasting your time sooner rather than later. Here are five red flags that could confirm your doubts.

1. He's not trying to see you
Either he's the busiest guy on the planet or his sorry-I-got-to-work-on-weekends excuse is just that -- an excuse. How do you know for sure? Does he find time for his mates yet somehow not have time to meet up with you or talk on the phone? If the answer is yes, something is amiss. When it's always you who's doing the running, it's a clear indication that he's not all that committed to the relationship. "If a guy is into you, he will find time to make a call and catch up," says Lexi Proud, who is a dating expert for Arrange Me a Date.

2. You've not met his friends
It's not a good sign if he hasn't introduced you to his friends and family, especially after you have dated for some time. Just how long is too long to wait? Proud suggests asking questions if you've not met any of his friends by the three-month mark and if you've not met his family by six months. "If a guy is into you, generally they want you to meet their friends. After all, they should be proud to have you on their arm!"

3. He only sees you for sex
This is so painfully obvious that it's going to sound blunt. If this guy is only meeting up with you for a hook-up, he's only into your body, not you as a person. Get out, pronto.

4. He often lets you down
Does he frequently cancel plans you've made together because "something else" has cropped up? Be wary, especially if there's no reason for it, and if it's happening on a persistent basis -- it's a sure sign your relationship just isn't up there on his list of priorities.

5. He leaves you in doubt
Here's the simple universal truth about men: If a guy wants you, you'll know it. He won't leave you wondering about his behavior -- he'll call you, he'll ask you out, he'll want to be with you whenever he can. If all you get are lukewarm reactions from the guy, he's just not that into you. Period.




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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Manila 2011: 6 Facebook Relationship Etiquette Do's & Don'ts

Profile shown on Thefacebook in 2005Image via WikipediaWhen we're blissfully in love, it's tempting to let our friends and family in on the happy news via Facebook or Twitter. But just like in the real world, social networks have their own set of relationship etiquette and not everything about your love life should be published for the whole world to see.

It boils down to knowing what's socially acceptable to post on your Wall. Lisa Daily, dating coach and author of the bestselling book Stop Getting Dumped, offers advice on how to use Facebook responsibly around relationships. Don't be guilty of these -- or you could find yourself being unfriended or unfollowed.


  • Do post appropriate couple photos
  • Do keep your lovey-dovey messages private
  • Don't update your relationship status too early
  • Don't pretend to be single if you're not
  • Don't be too showy
  • Don't post snide comments about exes



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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Global 2011: 7 dates that’ll create instant chemistry

It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the TimeImage via Wikipedia
You’ve had a pleasant date or two, but you “just aren’t feeling it…” yet. Rest assured, attraction isn’t always instant: Research shows that it typically takes a guy three meetings to fall for a woman — and as many as 20 dates for her to feel the same. Plus, there are things you can do during these early outings that’ll help get some chemistry percolating and jump-start your budding relationship. So, consider skipping your typical dinner date and trying one of these options to get a buzz going between you.

Date idea #1: Go hunting
Date idea #2: Get dizzy
Date idea #3: Attend a group dining experience
Date idea #4: Get in touch with your artistic sides
Date idea #5: Get nosy
Date idea #6: Dance, dance, dance
Date idea #7: Play a game together

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=10214&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=737598


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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Global 2011: 4 ways to find more time to date

The Parent Trap (1961 film)Image via Wikipedia
You sincerely want to find a lifelong mate, really... but your schedule’s so jam-packed you just don’t have a moment to spare. Sound familiar? No question about it, dating is time-consuming. As a dating coach, I hear complaints all the time from men and women about being too busy to carve out the time required to invest in the search. The excuses include: I’m too busy at work, I’m too busy being a single parent, I’m too busy traveling, exercising, commuting, fixing my house, etc. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here’s how to refocus on love with four tips that will help you find more time to date — and be more efficient doing it.

Tip #1: Find your number
Tip #2: Challenge your perspective
Tip #3: Try the triage approach
Tip #4: Stop wasting your time!

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=6266&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=737601


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Monday, February 7, 2011

Global 2011: Are Commitment and Exclusivity The Same?

Yue Ding: CommitmentImage via Wikipedia
We figured that exclusive simply meant that there was no hooking up with anyone else allowed: no making out, no dating.

Our theory on commitment was that it evolves slowly, long after exclusivity.

"If I'm committed, I'm picking your dad up from the airport."

Commitment is when lives are intertwined so much that your lives become one unified life.

To summarize, here are the signs to look for at each stage:


How to know you're "Exclusive"


  1. You Agree About it Through Conversation



How You Know You're Committed


  1. You've Been Dating a Significant Amount Of Time
  2. You've Each Met Immediate Family and Best Friends
  3. You're "Living Together" In Some Form
  4. There Are Unspoken Expectations




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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Global 2011: 5 Signs He's About to Propose

My Boyfriend Is Type BImage via Wikipedia
Want to know if you could be getting engaged soon? Here, the sneaky hints that your boyfriend is about to put a ring on it.

1. He's extra helpful.
2. He talks himself up.
3. He acts like you just started dating.
4. He quizzes you.
5. He's really concerned about the details.



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Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Global 2011: New Laws of Attraction

Mettons les voilesImage by bDom via Flickr
When it comes to finding love, there are certain truths that seem so irrefutable that any single person would be a fool not to follow them. Maybe you’re a firm believer that you can tell within seconds if you’re attracted to someone. Or, maybe you adhere to the idea that a first kiss says it all: If you feel fireworks, your date’s a keeper; if it bombs, cut your losses. While these romantic maxims have their fans, experts insist that these laws no longer hold true in today’s dating world. In short, many rules single people follow need a little revamping. To that end, we’ve consulted authorities in the field to bring you the most up-to-date tactics for finding someone you’ll click with.

Old rule: You can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone in three seconds
New rule: You can’t tell if you’re truly attracted to someone until you’ve had three dates

Old rule: Your mate must meet all the criteria on your “must-have list”
New rule: A “must-have list” looks great on paper, but paper won’t keep you warm at night

Old rule: Opposites attract
New rule: Opposites distract

Old rule: Your date’s record collection (or DVD library, or bookshelf) mirrors yours—so you must be soul mates
New rule: You want a person, not an iPod playlist

Old rule: Your first kiss should be a toe-curling experience
New rule: Your first kiss is inconsequential

Old rule: When it’s true love, you think about this person constantly
New rule: When it’s true love, thinking about this person makes you feel good



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Saturday, December 25, 2010

Global 2010: 10 First-Date Fumbles

Job Cohen, the former mayor of Amsterdam is an...Image via Wikipedia
Last month my friend Paul met an interesting woman, asked her to dinner, and thought it went superbly—until she turned him down for a second date. He couldn’t understand it: Hadn’t she been charmed by his “funny” stories about his ex? Uh-oh, I thought. He was Annoying First Date Guy, but didn’t know it. It happens at coffee houses, bars and restaurants every day—a guy with good intentions blows that crucial first date and has no idea why. Want to get clued in? Here are ten common pitfalls:

1. Going on a rant about a former significant other
2. Divulging too much personal information that’s not flattering
3. Making the date feel like a job interview
4. Having too much attitude
5. Admiring other women
6. Complaining about the venue
7. Arguing with your date
8. Eating your date’s dessert
9. Not walking her to safety at the end of the date
10. Saying “I’ll be in touch” after the date goes badly



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Global 2010: 15 Ways To Dazzle On Your First Date

The Bachelor (TV series)Image via Wikipedia
Former Bachelor hottie Matt Grant (yes, he’s the British one!) knows a thing or two about women. Especially after his stint trying to date 25 of them at the same time — on television, no less. “When I was on the show The Bachelor, I remember how overwhelming it was to have 25 women with one objective — to win over ME — coming at me from the limos. Some definitely made a stronger impact than others. What things stood out to me, you

Here, Matt offers all you future Match.com “catches” his fresh-from-the-dating-field advice, divulging what really he’s found works when it comes to making your meet-and-greet time with someone new truly memorable. So, go on and snag that “first impression” rose… or, at least, a second date!

1. Don’t be more than five minutes late.
2. Watch your breath.
3. Speaking of breath, remember to B-R-E-A-T-H-E.
4. Turn that frown upside down.
5. Wear date-appropriate attire.
6. Listen up!
7. Don’t try too hard.
8. Watch the heavy makeup.
9. Tell your date about yourself but leave some mystery, too.
10. Maintain eye contact.
11. Watch the catty remarks about other women.
12. Keep your technology toys hidden.
13. Don’t talk about your last relationship.
14. Ask questions that show you’re interested.
15. Be diplomatic about the check.

http://yahoo.match.com/magazine/article0.aspx?articleid=12067


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Friday, December 24, 2010

Global 2010: 6 misunderstood first-date signs

CANADA TYPE »Social Gothic« ✾ Black & White (f...Image by arnoKath via Flickr
You’re on a first date, and it’s going horribly. Or is it? It turns out that it’s all a matter of perspective. The elements that are making your date a disaster could actually signal something much sweeter. Read on for the six signs that your doomed date is anything but.

1. Your date is not your type

2. Your date is super-nervous

3. Your date tells you there are other people in the picture

4. You argue

5. The date feels more like an interview

6. There’s no goodnight kiss

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=9301&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=707824


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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Global 2010: 5 lessons for meeting more women

The birthday girl @KeiraanneImage by John Biehler via Flickr
To the men who are reading this article: There are a lot of women who are very unhappy with you. Really. I know, because as a dating coach, I hear women tell me all the time in the most exasperated tone: “How come I never meet a nice, normal guy? Why do I only get approached by creeps?” You’ve probably heard women say this yourself. So how would you respond to them? 

I’m guessing it’s something like: “Nice guys are afraid of rejection, don’t want to bother you when you’re out, and are generally more concerned with the consequences of being embarrassed than with actually meeting you.” It may be true, but, as truth goes, it’s a pretty sad state of affairs. What’s easy to forget is that most women want to be approached by you. By not approaching them, you’re letting them down and allowing the creeps to take their shot. Follow these lessons and the next time you’re out, maybe you’ll prove that nice guys don’t finish last. 

Lesson #1: Assume the answer is yes

Lesson #2: It’s not about you

Lesson #3: There’s power in numbers

Lesson #4: It’s just that easy

Lesson #5: The outcome doesn’t matter



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Monday, November 22, 2010

Global 2010: His Surprising First-Date Fears

First StationImage by KNOBBYKNEEz via Flickr
As cool as most guys try to play it your first time out together, chances are he's probably just as nervous as you are. We got experts to spill on the little things that secretly stress him out.

1. That you'll be different from what he's expecting.

2. He won't be the only one you're interested in.

3. He'll touch you too soon.

4. You won't give him another date.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/sex/his-surprising-first-date-fears-2413466/


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Friday, September 10, 2010

Manila 2010: 5 reasons he didn’t call you

Dating the EnemyImage via Wikipedia
When it comes to off-putting dating behavior, men commit plenty of dumb moves. He wears sneakers at a nice restaurant. He goes on and on about his boring job.

But what about those cases where the guy does win you over… and yet never calls again? Have you ever stopped to wonder what went wrong? While you might think winning a man’s heart largely boils down to your looks, you’re wrong. Below are five key things that well-intentioned women do that make men bail. Keep them in mind as you search for your Mr. Right

Reason #1: You talk, but don’t listen
Women are sharers. It’s culturally ingrained. You may talk to your best friend or mom five times a day and think nothing of it. Every detail is relevant, and nothing can be left out in the telling of a story. Problem is, men don’t generally communicate that way. So try to consider the ebb and flow of a normal conversation. And if it’s occurred to you that you haven’t yet learned a thing about your date, try listening for a bit. It’s not that we’re not interested in getting to know you, it’s that we’d be thrilled if you were interested in getting to know us, too.

Reason #2: You use conversation as therapy
Talking about your evil ex-boyfriend. Talking about your hatred of your job. Talking about your strained relationship with your mother. It’s not that the bad stuff is irrelevant, it’s that it’s inappropriate. 

Reason #3: You’re a little too enthusiastic about him 
There’s an unwritten rule in dating that governs the energy flow between a man and a woman: when one party tries too hard, the other party pulls back. If a stranger has ever bought you a costly gift on the first date or called you seven times the day after you had coffee, you know what I mean. We’re not saying you should act cold; just don’t get carried away in front of him. 

Reason #4: Your idea of chit-chat is politics, religion and other heavy topics
Hey, if your date is up for a surprise appearance on Meet the Press, that’s cool. Just know that not everybody likes to swim in the deep end of the pool so early. Sometimes, you’re better off sticking with banter about favorite travel spots or good movies or even funny online dates from the past. It’s not that intellectual topics should be off-limits, but until you know where someone lands on the political spectrum, you may want to tread lightly. 

Reason #5: You’re not relating to him — you’re testing him
Dating should be fun. Getting to know a fascinating stranger, sharing information about yourself to an interested date… these are the things that keep us optimistic about the process. Where it all goes wrong is when you inadvertently turn him into a defendant and yourself into the prosecuting attorney. “How long was your last relationship?” “Where do you see yourself in two years?” “Do you want kids someday?” Try reading between the lines instead of asking him these things point-blank. 


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