Global 2012: “Here’s why I always get the guy...”

The Good Guys (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ever wonder what that woman — the one who’s always surrounded by men and who lands dates left and right — has that you don’t? We did, too, so we polled man-magnets around the country for their tried-and-true tips for attracting men. Below, read their secrets on getting — and keeping — the guy:

Bring the “A” team
“If I go out with the intention of meeting guys, I never go out with more than two girlfriends. In my opinion, there’s nothing more annoying to guys (at least, the ones looking for something other than a fling) than a gaggle of giggling girls. I make sure that the friends I go out with are great wing-women — attractive friends who I can count on to be up for a good, drama-free evening — whether we meet guys or not. Whenever I go out with this type of group, the guys are drawn to us like flies to honey. There’s something really alluring to guys about a small group of cool, confident, classy women.”

Learn how to relax
“Here’s my one rule: Don’t be totally focused on ‘getting the guy.’ I think that scares them off! Be happy with your own life, be busy with it, and think of a guy as the icing on the cake — not vital, but a nice bonus. Guys pick up on this laid-back attitude and don’t feel as if you want or need anything from them… and then they’re interested!”

Laughter is the best medicine
“It’s always been my theory that guys love when you laugh at their jokes — or just simply act as if they’re the funniest people on Earth. It boosts their confidence, and what guy doesn’t want to be around a woman who makes him feel good? There’s no need to be completely fake about it — just laugh as genuinely as you can when the guy you’re into is clearly looking for laughs, and encourage him to keep going if it seems like he’s on a roll. You’ll be amazed how quickly it will endear guys to you!”

Keep up appearances
“I grew up in the South, where women always take the time to look their best. Even though I live up North now, I haven’t changed my habits. I rarely leave the house — even to go to the gym — without wearing a cute outfit, perfume, makeup and with my hair looking good, and I always keep a loaded cosmetics bag in my purse. I really think guys — especially the ones where I live — appreciate it when a woman looks put together and smells nice. Even when I’m seriously dating someone, I never let my commitment to looking good slide, even as we get comfortable in our relationship.”

Let him do all the chasing
“For me, my version of playing ‘hard to get’ always works. Here’s how I do it: I always make sure that even if I am head-over-heels into a guy, I never let him know — even the slightest bit — that I am. If he calls me, I’ll wait at least three days before calling him back, and when I’m around him, I always act very nonchalant and make sure I talk to others as much as I talk to him. Lastly, I never spill my feelings until at least two weeks after he spills his. I think this leaves a guy always wanting more, and makes him feel like ‘getting’ me is a challenge. Guys like competition and to win, so it’s almost like a game!”

Cast a wide net
“You have to get out there and always go to new places — be they classes, clubs, charity groups. You need new dating pools to meet new guys. If you were looking for a job, you wouldn’t apply over and over again at just one company, right? Same goes with meeting men. Mix up your routine and don’t let it stagnate. There are lots of guys out there, and the more you meet, the more likely you are to find good relationship material.”

Be a good sport
“I have three older brothers — all of whom were huge jocks — so I know about sports just about as much as any guy, and I actually genuinely love watching games. I think guys love when a girl can talk about their favorite team or knowledgeably tease them about why her favorite team is superior. The key to using sports knowledge to impress guys is to not be ‘one of the guys’ when you do it — no guy wants to date someone that could just as easily be one of his male friends. Instead, be a feminine, sexy woman who loves sports and shows up in a hot outfit — not wearing a jersey with your face painted! If you’re clueless when it comes to sports, get one of your guy friends to teach you — pronto!”

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12755&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=860524

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Global 2012: Signs that he’s genuinely into you

Cover of He's Just Not That Into You [Blu-ray]
For the past few years, thanks to loads of books about pick-up artists, reality dating shows and the like, women everywhere have been duly warned of all the ways men might try to wiggle free from getting into relationships without ever really saying so. Many single ladies owe their sanity to books like He’s Just Not That Into You, which taught them to stop wondering why someone didn’t call and just accept the truth: that it simply wasn’t meant to be. Still, amidst all these downplayed expectations, we wondered: Don’t women also want to know when men actually are in hot pursuit? To that end, we’ve interrogated a small army of men (and some savvy women) to uncover some telltale signs that show he actually is that into you — whether you’ve just met each other for the first time or have been dating casually for awhile. Read on for the good news...

Sign #1: He can’t relax when you’re around
Keith Duncan, 31, wasn’t exactly excited to tell us this, but admits that “there always seems to be a bit more pressure on me when I’m talking to a woman I really like. The room gets warm, I don’t feel as humorous as I usually am, and I keep hearing in my head: ‘Don’t screw this up.’” And that can only mean one thing: He’s trying his darndest to impress you.

Sign #2: He connects the dots
If a man remembers or refererences some things that you said earlier in your conversation or at the time when you two first met, it shows that he’s been paying attention. And since this is not generally one of our stronger traits, it really does mean something in this context.

Sign #3: His focus is on you and nobody else in the room
If a man is looking to just pick you up for a fling, he’ll never fully commit his attention to you; he’ll always be looking for his Plan B, constantly scanning the scene for a potential upgrade. So if his eyes are wandering around the restaurant or at the party, beware! But if he stays put and is devoted to you instead, relax... it’s all good. Johnny McDonnell, 30, admits that “there are times when I know my buddies will give me a hard time because I’ve spent the entire night talking to the same woman, but if I like her, I really don’t care what they think.”

Sign #4: He sneaks the word “we” in somewhere during your conversation
If the guy in question throws out the word “we” a lot instead of speaking exclusively in terms of “I” and “you” while you’re chatting, this a great sign of genuine interest. He’s trying in his own subtle way to see if he can put the two of you together without anyone noticing. Dating coach David Wygant agrees that “pronouns are the most important thing,” adding that “if he says something like, ‘You know, we should go ice skating sometime,’ he’s fishing to see if you’ll bite.” In other words, he hopes you’ll like the sound of it and agree to accompany him without actually asking you out to spare himself the shame of being turned down.

Sign #5: He leads you on — in a good way
If a man casually asks, “Have you heard about such-and-such restaurant?” or declares, “I’ve gotta go see that movie,” in courtroom terms, this is called “leading the witness” — and he’s throwing it out there hoping you’ll tack on a “yeah, me too!” reply at the end. So pay attention, ladies: This is our brilliant way of getting around directly asking you out and exposing ourselves to the crushing blow of rejection. After all, it hurts — and we’d rather put out feelers first whenever possible. So if you get the feeling he’s fishing to gauge your interest about something, that’s a good sign he’d like to see you again.

Sign #6: He’s happy to be somewhere that’s normally not where he would go on his own
Even better, the reason he’s happy to be there is because he’s with you. Seth Reimer, 30, tells us, “I can remember going to a club that I would never want to set foot in solely because I knew that a particular woman — who is now my wife — would also be there. The place was awful, but she made me want to go there every night until I could get her to go out with me on a date. The rest is history.”

Sign #7: He makes an effort to curry favor with your friends
According to Jared Piccolo, 28, when it comes to winning over a woman, “the friends are the gatekeepers,” he asserts. “If you don’t get past them, well, you’re out.” If the man you’re interested in is doing more than the bare minimum of making polite small talk and really trying to bond with your friends, then he’s trying to fit into your life on a larger scale — and that’s definitely a good sign.

Sign #8: He eagerly brings you into his own inner circle
We men can easily keep our dating lives separate from our regular day-to-day routines. In fact, we often prefer to keep these two worlds apart for practical reasons. However, the women we really like tend to quickly meet our buddies, see our favorite hangouts and meet our coworkers. Tim, 45, admits that when he was single, he kept any dates he wasn’t interested in seeing long-term far away from his regular circle of friends. “It made things clear, distinct and free of complications when it ended,” explains Tim. If a man’s introducing you to his pals and favorite neighborhood spots, on the other hand, congratulations — you’re getting woven into the fabric of his life.

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=8808&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=709882

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Manila 2011: 5 Signs He's Not Really Into You

Image via Wikipedia

There's a guy you totally fancy and whom you've been seeing for sometime. Yet there's something about him you can't put your finger on: He's kinda too busy with work, a tad too passive about your relationship, and not acting as besotted as he should be.

Or maybe he really isn't. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but better to know if he's wasting your time sooner rather than later. Here are five red flags that could confirm your doubts.

1. He's not trying to see you
Either he's the busiest guy on the planet or his sorry-I-got-to-work-on-weekends excuse is just that -- an excuse. How do you know for sure? Does he find time for his mates yet somehow not have time to meet up with you or talk on the phone? If the answer is yes, something is amiss. When it's always you who's doing the running, it's a clear indication that he's not all that committed to the relationship. "If a guy is into you, he will find time to make a call and catch up," says Lexi Proud, who is a dating expert for Arrange Me a Date.

2. You've not met his friends
It's not a good sign if he hasn't introduced you to his friends and family, especially after you have dated for some time. Just how long is too long to wait? Proud suggests asking questions if you've not met any of his friends by the three-month mark and if you've not met his family by six months. "If a guy is into you, generally they want you to meet their friends. After all, they should be proud to have you on their arm!"

3. He only sees you for sex
This is so painfully obvious that it's going to sound blunt. If this guy is only meeting up with you for a hook-up, he's only into your body, not you as a person. Get out, pronto.

4. He often lets you down
Does he frequently cancel plans you've made together because "something else" has cropped up? Be wary, especially if there's no reason for it, and if it's happening on a persistent basis -- it's a sure sign your relationship just isn't up there on his list of priorities.

5. He leaves you in doubt
Here's the simple universal truth about men: If a guy wants you, you'll know it. He won't leave you wondering about his behavior -- he'll call you, he'll ask you out, he'll want to be with you whenever he can. If all you get are lukewarm reactions from the guy, he's just not that into you. Period.

http://ph.shoppinglifestyle.com/love/signs-not-into-you/1710/1/

Global 2011: New Laws of Attraction

Image by bDom via Flickr
When it comes to finding love, there are certain truths that seem so irrefutable that any single person would be a fool not to follow them. Maybe you’re a firm believer that you can tell within seconds if you’re attracted to someone. Or, maybe you adhere to the idea that a first kiss says it all: If you feel fireworks, your date’s a keeper; if it bombs, cut your losses. While these romantic maxims have their fans, experts insist that these laws no longer hold true in today’s dating world. In short, many rules single people follow need a little revamping. To that end, we’ve consulted authorities in the field to bring you the most up-to-date tactics for finding someone you’ll click with.

Old rule: You can tell if you’re truly attracted to someone in three seconds
New rule: You can’t tell if you’re truly attracted to someone until you’ve had three dates

Old rule: Your mate must meet all the criteria on your “must-have list”
New rule: A “must-have list” looks great on paper, but paper won’t keep you warm at night

Old rule: Opposites attract
New rule: Opposites distract

Old rule: Your date’s record collection (or DVD library, or bookshelf) mirrors yours—so you must be soul mates
New rule: You want a person, not an iPod playlist

Old rule: Your first kiss should be a toe-curling experience
New rule: Your first kiss is inconsequential

Old rule: When it’s true love, you think about this person constantly
New rule: When it’s true love, thinking about this person makes you feel good

http://yahoo.match.com/magazine/article0.aspx?articleid=6014

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