Monday, November 14, 2011

Global 2011: 9 Tips to Make a Date Better in the First Ten Minutes

Now You See Love, Now You Don'tImage via Wikipedia
The first ten minutes of a date often determine whether a second date is ever going to happen, and let’s face it—second dates are not the norm for many. That was definitely my story until I learned about (what I now call) “Date Waste.”

Date waste is when a date is a drag, but has little to do with whether you are a potential match. It’s a drag simply because neither of you set the date up to succeed. These aren’t the dates with jerks that you can’t wait to end. They are the ones that are just a little boring, lack sparks, or just go nowhere. You can turn these into very positive experiences.

I see date waste all the time when I’m coaching, and I lived it for years. When I accepted that every date was part of the journey and not just a means to an end, my life changed. Every date is an opportunity. You can talk to a nice person, learn something new, get much-needed practice and maybe connect with someone you want to know just a little better. It doesn’t have to be, “Oh, he’s The One!” or nothing.

Here are nine things you can do in the first ten minutes of each date to make it a positive experience and begin to eliminate date waste from your life.

1. Go in with the “I hope I like him” attitude.
2. Find three things you like about him.
3. Compliment him.
4. Think of it as practice.
5. Dump your agenda.
6. Ask the right questions.
7. Quiet those dang gremlins.
8. Let go of control.
9. Be kind and practice empathy.

Then look at him again with the kind and wise eyes of a woman working hard to find a good man. Regardless of how you end up judging him, always leave him feeling good about himself—even if you’re not going to see him again. It’s the nice thing to do, and you’ll help prop him up for the next woman who’s going to meet him.

You are looking for a lifetime partner with whom you can share deep connection, unconditional trust, mutual adoration, and a lifetime of happiness. Everything you do should be toward that end. Every date is a spectacular opportunity. Don’t be a date waster.

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Friday, November 4, 2011

Global 2011: 11 Things We’d Rather Have Than Sex

iPhone 4 showing the home screen.Image via Wikipedia
A recent study by Women at NBCUniversal raised eyebrows when it reported that the women surveyed placed the Internet, sleep, and showers higher than sex on a list of things they couldn’t live without for a month. (Men, unsurprisingly, chose sex behind the Internet and sleep. At least the sexes can agree on the first two.)

It turns out what we’re passionate about is not always passion. And when push comes to shove, we’d rather go celibate than without some creature comforts. I canvassed my friends to see what they’d rather have than carnal knowledge. From a glass of cold milk to The Real Housewives of New Jersey, some of their answers made me laugh and others made me reconsider my own priorities. (I don’t want, I need Chapstick.)

As a single gal who prefers “relations” within the context of a “relation”-ship, I’ve gone without sex for months and even years. But before you light a candle for me, remember that during those dry spells, I still had access to all of the following human necessities:

  • Junk food.
  • TV.
  • Air-conditioning.
  • Coffee.
  • A good book.
  • Wine.
  • Friends.
  • Blackberry or iPhone.
  • Shopping.
  • Family.
  • Pets.

Facebook? Magazines? Yoga? If you had to go without for a month, what would you choose over sex?

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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Global 2011: Steve Jobs’ Final Words Shared in Sister’s Eulogy

LONDON - JUNE 15:  (FILE PHOTO) Steve Jobs, Ch...Image by Getty Images via @daylife
Steve Jobs’ sister Mona Simpson shared in the eulogy she delivered at the late Apple CEO‘s memorial service that his surprising final words from his deathbed were, “Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow.”

In the eulogy, which was printed in The New York Times on Sunday, Simpson describes Jobs’ final days and moments in a Palo Alto hospital, which was spent surrounded by family as his breathing gradually became shorter.

His breath, she said, “indicated an arduous journey, some steep path, altitude.”

Delivered at the October 16 service for Jobs at Stanford Memorial Church, Simpson, an accomplished novelist, began by describing her initial meeting of her brother for the first time when she was in her mid-20s. Simpson was born in 1957, two years after Jobs, who was given up for adoption as an infant.

“Even as a feminist, my whole life I’d been waiting for a man to love, who could love me. For decades, I’d thought that man would be my father. When I was 25, I met that man and he was my brother,” Simpson said.

Simpson went on to describe her strong relationship with the man now know for the revolutionizing computer world, while explaining Jobs’ work ethic and capacity for love — particularly for his wife Laurene and as a doting father to their three children.

“Steve was like a girl in the amount of time he spent talking about love. Love was his supreme virtue, his god of gods. He tracked and worried about the romantic lives of the people working with him,” she said.

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