Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Global 2011: How to ask a guy out

Cropped image of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. ...Image via Wikipedia
There’s no easy way to phrase this without provoking a barrage of “What are you, crazy?” emails, but here’s my theory: By the time she hits 20, even the shyest, mousiest, most un-Katie-Holmes like woman has developed at least a rudimentary strategy for fending off (or responding to) unsolicited come-ons by eager guys. But unless a guy happens to look like Viggo Mortensen, he can persist well into his 40s without once having been — flatly, out of the blue — asked out on a date. (After that, the odds tend to shift, as those handsome, hard-driving captain-of-industry types die off or get married, resulting in a surplus of on-the-prowl single women. Have I offended anyone yet?)

Anyway, whatever the explanation, the fact is that single women are more accustomed to being asked out, and single guys are more accustomed to doing the asking — which means there’s not a lot of data out there about how men like to be approached for a first date. With an eye toward correcting this imbalance, here are my observations about the best way to hit on a guy, whether it’s someone you work with, someone you’ve met online, or someone you’ve just rear-ended at a busy intersection.

  • Be direct.
  • Be indirect.
  • Come up with a plan.
  • Don’t come on too strong.
  • Don’t over-plan.

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