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| Cover of Rules of Attraction |
You don’t have to be loaded or look like Ryan Gosling to successfully reel in women. We polled chick magnets across the country for their rules of attraction. And we must say, these guys have some secrets worth stealing. Learn first-hand from the masters how to make the ladies swoon:
Tell her how good she looks (in an unexpected way)
“I’ve found that women love getting compliments on their appearance. I always pick one aspect of how she looks and comment on why I think it’s fantastic. I try to be specific so she feels it’s genuine and not just an attempt to score points (even though that’s sort of what it sometimes is!). Instead of saying something general, like ‘You look nice,’ I might say, ‘I really like your earrings; that shade of blue matches your eyes’ or ‘I love those boots; they make your legs look incredible.’ Women are amazed that I pay that kind of attention and they’re always appreciative.”
Be spontaneous
“One thing women always comment on is that I’m a spontaneous, take-charge kind of guy — and they really like that. If I’m out on a first date and a woman mentions how she used to go bowling a lot when she was a kid, I’ll say, ‘So let’s go bowling right after we finish our dessert.’ Or if it’s winter and the mood strikes, I’ll drive a date to the beach, just to look at the water. I think women like a man who isn’t afraid to act on impulse and do things that really make you enjoy life.”
Let her talk about herself as much as she likes
“Most people love talking about themselves, so when I first meet a woman I’m interested in, I’ll ask questions so that she’s doing most of the talking. Not only does it make her happy, but it’s a great way to get to know her — everyone wins! I usually ask about her childhood first: Where did she grow up? Did she like it? What did her parents do? And then I’ll ask questions about her present job, apartment and her goals for the future. Women are drawn to me because it’s clear I’m not just drawn to them for their looks.”
Lay on the charm, but in a relaxed and humorous way
“In my experience, I get a lot more dates than my friends because I flirt — a lot. I think dating should be a fun, playful experience. So I’m not afraid to approach a woman, but before I launch into a corny pick-up line, I’ll say: ‘Promise me I get a do-over if you hate this opening line.’ Or I’ll go over to an attractive woman and ask her, ‘What’s it like being the prettiest lady in this room?’ I have to say, I think my relaxed, joke-y way of approaching women really works.”
Plan an unexpected (but fun) first date
“I always try to take a woman on a really different first date — one that will show her that I’m a spontaneous, up-for-anything person. I shy away from the typical dinner or movie options and instead choose something that’s different and cool, yet still within her comfort zone. I can’t say it’s always cheap or easy, but I like the creative challenge of coming up with something memorable and romantic. I’ve arranged for a private, at-home cooking lesson with a chef from one of my favorite restaurants, scheduled a rooftop massage for two and even once took a woman on a helicopter ride over the city. I want her to feel like she’ll always have fun if she continues to see me. And the strategy has been working, knock wood.”
Maintain meaningful eye contact with her
“When I am with a woman — whether I am talking to her, dancing with her, or eating with her — I make as much eye contact as possible. Not in a creepy way, but in a way that communicates, ‘I am paying attention to you and am genuinely interested in being here with you.’ Essentially, you want to convey that you only have eyes for her, no pun intended. Nothing makes a woman feel more insecure than a guy with whose eyes are darting around the room. I find women respond to this and really open up.”
Be true to your word
“Contrary to what you see in the movies and on TV, I think it’s always best to call a woman when you say you are going to call and not play stupid waiting games. What’s that all about? If I tell a woman I’ll call her tomorrow, I do, and I always get a good reaction. In fact, I think it’s sad when women are surprised that I follow up as promised. The right kind of woman doesn’t want a guy who plays games. Treat a lady with respect, and she’ll want to be around you.”
Some old-fashioned chivalry will make her feel like a queen
“I admit it’s old-fashioned, but I always open doors for a woman, pull out her chair before she sits and stand when she gets up from the table. Women are sometimes a little surprised by my actions, but ultimately, they appreciate it. A woman once told me that doing those things made her feel like a lady, and that’s what it’s all about. If you treat a woman like a queen, she’ll want you to be her king, so to speak!”
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